As any halfway decent criminal mastermind would probably tell you: when it comes to heists, it’s not about the stuff. It’s about the pure joy of doing something so completely brash and chuckleheaded as stealing a Cougar, loading it with the choicest of vanities, racing the fuzz and getting away with it. In fact, the only downside is that when the deed is done and the rush of adrenaline has waned, you’re left with a car cluttered with counts of something our judicial system calls, “armed robbery,” (see also: grand theft auto) and some unlucky schmo duct taped in your trunk – all things that can testify against even the most well-disguised larcenist (even those with monkey masks). So, of course you understand why we have to give it all away, but we hope you’ll be able to take advantage of this steal to get your share of the loot. Anyway, until next time we meet under shady, potentially disreputable and dangerous circumstances, happy holidays!